Theo Von’s podcast, “This Past Weekend,” never fails to disappoint. We all know that Theo Von is practically a random word generator at this point, but even I didn’t see this one coming.
In episode #408, Theo Von takes us through many laughs with his guest Bert Kreischer. For those who don’t know, Bert Kreischer, AKA “The Machine,” is a comedian known for being a party animal. He’s been in the comedy game for a while, and you may recognize him as the guy doing standup without a shirt on. The funny thing about this is that it’s for a good reason. He takes his shirt off to remind himself that he’s supposed to be having a good time. Sort of a “relieve the pressure” thing.
During the episode, Theo and Bert Kreischer talk about their childhood. Apparently, Bert has a thing for feet and knew early on that his non-negotiable for women was just that – having nice feet. From there, Bert recalls what it was like growing up during a different time. Today, kids in high school would never be asked to shower in the same room. But for you older lads, you know that back in the day, it was standard procedure for everyone to shower in the same room after gym. It was the norm. Was it weird? Yes. Was it scary? Yes. And for Bert Kreischer and Theo Von, there was no exception. Having to shower in the same room as a young man was especially troublesome for Bert Kreischer. Here’s the bizarre part! To make him feel comfortable, the other kids convinced him that naming his private parts would help. And thus, John Henry was born.
From there, they discuss what it’s like to ride horses. Bert had never really ridden a horse at full speed. The first time he finally did, he experienced pure joy. He and the horse became one, in perfect sync with one another like a good nights sexy time with your partner.
Next, Theo Von and Bert Kreischer discussed sobriety and alcoholism. Since Bert is known for going pretty hard, this was interesting. It was bold to ask someone who literally won “top partier” in a 1996 Rolling Stone issue if they thought they were an alcoholic. Bert Kreischer explains his opinion on the difference between alcoholism and drinking a lot. According to Bert, he spoke with Dr. Drew. The two concluded that no, Bert only drinks a lot. Theo Von then says if he never tried certain things, he wouldn’t have to cut everything out. But since he opened that door, he can’t dabble in anything that leads him to want something more.
For me personally, that’s one of the reasons I choose to stay sober. The thought of the “cats out of the bag,” so to speak, has always kept me on the up and up.
As if it couldn’t get wilder, Theo Von asked Bert a question straight out of the left field. That man Theo asks, “how jealous do you think the back of your balls are of the front of your balls.” And Bert Kreishcher’s response is hilarious! Check out the video below and share the laughs with someone in your life!